From March to April 2022, Project A (independent of CandleX) held its second round of in-person group therapy for women who were in abusive relationships. In this round, group therapy lasted 6 weeks. Each session was 2 hours long, meaning participants spent a total of 12 hours together in the sessions. In addition, each participant was offered the chance to have supplemental individual sessions with the therapist. The therapy was led by Xiaojie Qin, a certified psychotherapist/counselor in China and Australia, and the head of programs at Project A. Megan Purvis, head of operations, provided on-site support during the sessions. We want to present our review of this round from the therapist’s point of view to give you a snap shot of how group therapy works, and the benefits or challenges that come with it. Special note: Consent was gained from all participants. We want to thank all participants for their kindness and bravery for allowing us to publish this article, which we hope will encourage more women (and men) to seek professional help. Author: Xiaojie Qin Time: April 2022 Megan and I laid out 6 chairs, 5 of them were for the therapy participants, a group of women who were in abusive relationships. I love group therapy because it builds authentic connections between people, which is the real antidote of feeling separated and alone in their own traumatic experiences. I am also a firm believer that each one of us is wise and can offer something to the world. By creating a group setting, it allows the participants to offer their support and wisdom to each other, which is really empowering for them in return. I looked at the chairs in the room and felt curious, excited, a little restless and joyous that finally our second round of therapy was about to start in 30 minutes. Then they came in, five ladies in their 20-40s, each from different countries, and sat down. We were going to spend six Sunday afternoons together and that day the journey began to unfold itself. The first session is always about getting to know each other, setting group rules, hearing everyone’s stories that brought them there, and agreeing on group goals. The difficult part was talking about their own experiences with abuse, ranging from physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse in their intimate relationship, to when they were growing up in a violent home. Some ran away from their partners as soon as they had a chance, without time to pack up. “I know he would have killed me if I stayed,” one participant said. Some of them sleep with a weapon by their beds even now. The first session was overwhelming, but was also a great opportunity to install emotional regulation skills in SOS situations. I like the Chinese word wei ji, opportunity in crisis. I led the group to practice different skills as a breather between sharings. For example, I asked them to name different colors, guided them in breathing exercises, muscle relaxation exercises, body tapping and bi-lateral eye movement. These exercises invite the peaceful sensations back into the body and help calm down from intense feelings brought up by their traumatic memories. We had advised them to plan something fun or comforting after the session, so their bodies and minds could recover. We had one participant reporting that she had a few days of feeling hopeless and depressed after the first session. We knew this could happen to some people when their trauma was not properly dealt with. I was very glad to see her back in our sessions, and making progress along the way. That’s persistence and courage, which would help her to live a more fulfilled life down the road. Sometimes people ask me if it’s too much to take in this negative information. I always say it’s the subtle positives in their traumatic stories that I saw which confirms my decision to stay a therapist on a daily basis. I also take it as a privilege that I get to point that out to them, so they start to notice in their mind and their heart that ‘I’ve got this’! Then we take it from there. One participant got silent when we stayed with a moment back in her childhood where her mom was being beaten by her stepdad. “I could not do anything to help my mom when my dad was beating her. She asked me to go to my room, but I stayed”. “Why did you stay and watch?” I asked.” I don’t know. he would hurt her less badly if he knew I was watching. ”She said. I stayed there and said, “You were three years old. You couldn’t do much. But you being there, by staying, did make a difference. Then came the magical silence. That’s when our mind and heart integrate with one another. “And although I didn’t know it at the time but me staying is most probably what saved her life- him knowing I was watching. ”She paused and tears ran down her face. “I matter.” She said this beautiful thing that I know was so rarely felt in her heart. In that moment, she saw her own worthiness and strength. As I primarily used mindfulness-based CBT in the group session, we continued to work on unpacking important moments in life. As we progressed, participants were given the opportunity to unpack for each other, enhancing their active listening skills and self-awareness. In this process, it became clear where the weaknesses are for each one of them. For one participant, it is the disconnection with body sensations. As that was pointed out in our session, homework was given to work on body awareness for that week. She came back reporting that she actually noticed how her body reacts to stress, and started to develop intentional more effective responses to stressful situations. She came back to the session saying that she felt more relaxed, and was feeling great that week. This is a young lady who grew up with a difficult dad that showed symptoms of dissociative identity disorder, and she deals with long term sleep problems, including frequent nightmares, difficulties falling to sleep, etc. People who have endured big trauma can become triggered very easily. In our session, as a group goal, we were working on emotional regulation, which is a gigantic skill to master. A baby step is to develop curiosity when dealing with inter-personal conflicts. We went through the skills of pausing, asking questions, and engage in active listening that make up the development of curiosity. It was really great to see one participant continued to use that skill and making progress in her current relationships over the course of six weeks, every time we had our group check-in. The weekly check-ins were one of my favorite parts of each session. I tend to give my clients “homework”, which would help them to continue to exercise their brain ‘muscles’ during the week. It also helps me to know whether we need to add another skill, or work on fine-tuning the current skills. The check-ins also help me to know the progress we are making as a group towards our goals. We always heard someone was making progress, and it inspired the group to continue to use the skills they learned in the sessions. They’d also share what worked for them in their recovery. Developing a vision is a tool that’s common for us to tap into positive neural networks. We had one participant who has gone a long way in her own recovery. She shared the tools she has been using that she found helpful. One of them is visualization. “Now, everything that I’ve ever wanted and envisioned is here except (censored for privacy reasons).” This is more powerful than me as a therapist sharing a skill. This is a testimony. After we finished our program, I was happy to read some feedback from one participant. She wrote, “I believe Xiaojie directed the sessions to make them less about her as a therapist and more about us as active participants in the process of recovery. We were encouraged to practice active listening while others were unpacking, and then report on their body sensations, thoughts, emotions and beliefs that we noticed in that narrative. We even had a chance to sketch it out in a diagram. What I mean by this is that this program is not for us to passively receive information but to actively participate in the creation of material.” This is also the power of group therapy of actively engaging participants to interact with one another. While another advantage of group therapy is cost-effectiveness in psychoeducation, it’s also good for participants to develop the skills they need to have healthier social interactions. People with trauma often need more skills on being assertive. Instead of having five separate individual sessions, we could talk about and practice assertiveness in one group session. This allows us to not only better allocate the funding to help more people, but also offer participants the chance to work on interpersonal skills. Similar to our first round, this group members also are on different levels in the spectrum of being passive and aggressive. We had one participant, very in touch with her emotions, behaviors and thoughts, come to the realization in our third session that she might be on the aggressive spectrum when dealing with conflict of interests and needs with friends and partners. It was very interesting to see each person map themselves out in sub-categories of aggressive or passive behaviors in terms of frequency and intensity. We had two participants who struggle with “asking for help” for two different reasons. The passive one stems from the difficulty to express their needs and opinions, and the aggressive one stems from the fear of appearing to be weak. By being in the group, it was so clear how different each person is. By talking about their stories and unpacking their critical moments, it puts their own stories in a picture that’s bigger than them too. We ended the sessions by looking back on the journey we had by being honest, vulnerable and strong together for six weeks. “It was foggy to me when I recalled the image of what's ahead of me six weeks ago. Now, I closed my eyes, and that image of mountain ahead of me became clear, and I have this grand 180 degree view.” I could picture that as she was saying it. It brought a smile to my face when I heard that. I, being the therapist, looking at them in the circle in our last session, seeing their shoulders relaxed, smiles on their faces, had a sense of accomplishment and joy. I felt like I was sitting in the garden with sunlight and flowers. So much ease, growth and inspiration unfolded during our time together. This is by no means an end to any recovery, but a start for some, a continuation for others. As for Megan and I, I look forward to welcoming the next group onto this journey in a few months. We encourage you to share this article with other women who were in abusive relationship to apply for our next round of therapy. We also encourage you to donate to Project A, which provides funding to make therapy possible for people who have lived through abusive relationships. Please find our contact information below.

Author: Xiaojie Qin Psychotherapist, Director of CandleX Time: Aug 2023 Over the past year, I have found myself getting more and more anxious as my asthma symptoms worsened. OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder) is something that can be developed when there are stressful events. As a teenager, I had some quirks that overlap with OCD patients‘ behaviors. I remember I had to buy my journals from the same store, and use the same pen to write in that journal. If I didn’t have the same pen, I wouldn’t want to write. I grew out of it eventually, but as an adult, I continue taking note of my mental hygiene tendencies. In the past six months, I tried many different ways to manage my asthma symptoms: all different kinds of western medication in different combinations and dosages; Chinese medicine on top of western medicine; acupuncture, the traditional kind, the new kind; dramatic change of diet; management of the environment in terms of humidity and air quality, and the list goes on and on. When you cannot breath, you are desperate to find the cure, any cure that could effectively help you live like a normal person. My fear of not being able to breath increased excessively after a few random asthma attacks. I have seen my brain trying so hard to make connections between what are really just random dots, which doesn’t really make sense. That’s the emotional brain’s need to release the anxiety generated by not knowing. It asks my rational, or sometimes as I call it, my thinking brain to do whatever it can to make sense of what’s happening. The benefit is that we have a chance to figure out what’s going on and manage it; the disadvantage is that the dots might not align and things not making sense can lead to a feeling of desperation. I find sometimes that hours pass by while I research asthma treatments online. An entire weekend morning could go by without me even noticing. This pattern began to take over my schedule which was initially filled with fun stuff: walking my dog along the river, practicing handstand, rehearsing a dance routine, etc. It made sense to do all this research at the beginning, a few months back, when I knew little about asthma. But now, I don’t find new info anymore. If I continue to get caught in that same researching mode, my day is spent in an anxious, exhausting, and ineffective way. Luckily, being a therapist myself, I know the best way to save myself is to make sure I contain the emotional needs to know. My daily yoga and meditation practice serves as a foundation for me to create space for my emotion needs, and not get too carried away by them (check out my recent article on yoga here). I use distractions, such as indulging myself in my hobbies, so my mind is not overly obsessed with finding out how to treat asthma. Very recently, my airway opened up a lot more. Not sure what worked, but I suddenly felt a release of pressure in my bronchial tube. It felt like the invisible hand that’d been squeezing my breathing pipe for weeks suddenly let go. I was thrilled and nervous at the same time. I’ll get to the nervous part in another chapter. For now, I want to keep the focus on what happened to my emotional brain, which yells at my thinking brain and demands it to make sense of things so the emotion of confusion could resolve. The rest of the day, I kept wondering what it was I did that helped. Was it the new type of acupuncture, maybe the newly added emergency treatment, could it be that one medicine that I started taking again? Or could it be the bubbly water that I started drinking? I do also feel a sudden relief of the airway pressure when the bubbly water makes me burp… There were so many voices came to my head. “It has to be the bubbly water”. “It has to be the new medicine”. “It has to be the emergency treatment.” Even my mom’s voice interjected to say- with humor yet complete seriousness- “I donated money to the temple and put your name on it. I think that’s what’s working”. If I am not careful enough, I can feel the tendency to just believe in one voice so that I can rest. Our mind works on its own to seek relief. In this case, I know it started to form a belief that soda water would stretch my airway and I would be able to breathe through conversations. I began to find myself drinking more soda water, especially before meetings when I struggle to get air or felt nervous. Sometimes I found myself reaching for soda when I got anxious about my asthma. My mind tried to ease itself by doing something about the situation. I know I had to be careful with this behavior because one soda water could potentially turn into 2, 3 and 4. That’s what happens to OCD patients with ineffective routines: as long I check the door lock one more time, I can be re-assured that it’s locked, thus the house is safe and my family will be okay. One check turns into 10 checks, which then turns into 100. I had to have a calm conversation with my mom about the fact that so far, we have not found any specific triggers for my asthma, and the doctors haven’t found out an effective treatment that leads to sustained improvement. “Your donation and prayers might have worked, and they might not have” (I feared she wouldn’t accept if I said ‘probably’ or ‘could not’). I paused, and luckily, she replied, “You are right. I do not know. I’m just glad you can breathe normally today as well.” She has been worried sick, feeling useless being a mom not able to help her daughter (I’ll always be her little girl even when I’m 60!). She’s seen my asthma symptoms worsen over the last few months despite undergoing more treatment. I know that knowing how to help me would ease her anxiety and allow her to relax emotionally. When I heard her associating my recovery to her donations and prayers, I was concerned that she’d just keep donating money on my behalf and praying. Once we go down that road of fixation, we are heading towards the possibility of OCD behaviours. I am not particularly worried about myself and my mom, because we do not tend to cope that way. But if my mom did have OCD tendencies, she might go down that road. In this case there could be potential for her to donate more and more money in order to feel she’s done enough for me. The temporary mental relief she’d get from the act of donation would then lead to the need to repeat the same behavior more frequently and intensively to produce the same emotional result. Does it sound familiar? The negative loop- OCD patients spiraling down into a thinking/behaviour pattern and becoming trapped inside. It’s a similar pattern for addiction to gambling, sex, drugs & alcohol, and all that fall under the addiction category. This note of my observation serves as an exercise for me to understand what’s going on in my mind in response to the new situation of worsening asthma, so I can be careful of falling into any habitual mind traps. I also hope this note can help those with OCD to unpack their own situations and better understand the anxiety, fear, compulsions, and emotional/physical pains that come with the unknown. I would like to end on a positive note with this encouragement for all: Let’s not forget, to live, to laugh, to love and to enjoy life nonetheless. Xiaojie is a Chinese-English psychotherapist and the director of CandleX. She runs a video channel that addresses common questions the public has about psychotherapy and psychology. Scan the QR code to follow her. If you are interested in inquiring about her psychotherapy services, whether for individuals or couples, please feel free to email her directly at xiaojieqin2020@163.com.

CandleX founder Xiaojie in conversation with Bruno, founder of Avisha Space. Located in Sanlitun, Avisha Space is a yoga studio imbued with openness and spirituality. Xiaojie and Bruno talk about the healing experience of coming to your mat, grounding into your body, and reconnecting with the present moment. They also discuss the importance of breath work as a subtle but integral part of yoga practice. By aligning with the body, we can regain awareness and be guided to an inner space of hope that knows change is possible even when we are in a difficult place. CandleX and Avisha will be partnering for an upcoming event to raise awareness on yoga and mental health. Stay tuned for Part 2. Read our WeChat article here:

This is part 2 of the conversation between Xiaojie and Bruno, on mental health and yoga. CandleX founder Xiaojie in conversation with Bruno, founder of Avisha Space. Located in Sanlitun, Avisha Space is a yoga studio imbued with openness and spirituality. Xiaojie and Bruno discuss the therapeutic journey of stepping onto your yoga mat, finding stability within your body, and reconnecting with the present. CandleX and Avisha are joining forces for an upcoming event to promote mindfulness and mental health through yoga.

Author: Xiaojie Qin Psychotherapist Founder and Director of CandleX Date: July 2023 As a therapist, I encourage my clients to try yoga or meditation, not only because research shows that it helps to enhance body and mind resilience, but because I am a living testimony to its benefits. Unlike jiu-jitsu or swing dance, both of which I fell in love with at first sight, my initial yoga session was a terrifying experience. However, this year marks the milestone of ten years of practicing yoga. I am glad that I finally sit down and reflect on yoga journey and I want to share this with you. Video below Impossible? Do anyway Yoga isn’t easy. I can attest to that! I still vividly remember my first yoga class back in 2008. The teacher instructed us to do a basic forward fold, and as I glanced at my colleagues next to me touching their toes, I couldn't help but wonder how they managed it. I tried with all my effort and I was just reaching for the impossible. The next few classes were just as challenging. I struggled to understand when to breathe in and when to breathe out. The slow pace of the class only served to highlight my lack of coordination with my breath. Even something as seemingly simple as the resting pose, downward dog, felt impossible for me. It all felt overwhelming and left me feeling defeated and frustrated. In all honesty, I only persisted because my workplace covered the cost of the class, and the convenience of having the teacher come to our office made the decision to continue easier. The Alignment To me, the very basic of yoga is the most important work, and alignment is at the center of yoga practice. First, it's the alignment of our bones, by paying attention to how we engage our muscles. Our everyday modern life is so busy. We don't have time to pay attention to that, and then we have shoulder, knee, or back pain. I think of our bodies as a fine machine that requires fine-tuning. I think of old age, and I know money would not buy me a pain-free body. Second, it's the alignment of our breath and movement. Using breath to guide the body, to deepen the posture, to propel movement. The breath should never be compromised. Do you know why? That's where grace resides. Grace has time, and grace never rushes. Grace is patience, and practice within the window of tolerance. Our breath indicates where we are in the window of tolerance, so use breath to guide our level of effort. Yoga does the opposite of what we do the rest of the day, where our body follows the orders of the mind. In yoga, I give priority to my body, listening to its signals, monitoring my breath, and managing my mind to create a joyful, rewarding experience that draws me back to the mat every day. Beyond the Mat In recent years, I have had many moments where I realized how much yoga has helped me in everything else I do. When I went surfing for the first time in Sri Lanka in 2018, about 5 years after starting my yoga practice, the coach said I had good balance as a beginner. Boy, did that make me proud! In 2021, when I went horse riding in Siguniang Mountain, the 8 hours on the horse seemed to fly by. I was moving with the horse and able to engage my core while keeping the rest of my body relaxed. You have to know, prior to my yoga practice, horse riding was painful, uncomfortable and plain scary to me. This year in 2023, when I went rock climbing for the first time, the coach said I was using my core correctly, and I did well. that made me wanna dance. Oh, I did! Talking about dancing (In Dance, I Expanded | My Story With Swing Dance), my dancing has also improved over the years, and yoga has definitely helped me do jiujitsu (Never say Never | My Love Story With Brazilian Jiujitsu) better as well. Injured and Healed My time before yoga, it was difficult to be me. I felt broken in many ways, my body wasn’t strong enough, neither was my mind. A healthy body serves as a stable foundation for a peaceful mind. Honestly, if you asked me when I was 21 if I could envision myself achieving what I have accomplished with my body, my answer would have been a resounding no. I endured severe back injuries that left me unable to lift even moderately heavy objects for five long years. Living with perpetual back pain, despite countless treatments, was a constant struggle. Medical professionals expressed skepticism about my chances of recovering to the level I was at prior to the injury, but they were proven wrong. Not only have I recovered, but I have surpassed all expectations. Mentally, I have transitioned from experiencing severe mood swings in my 20s to being able to observe my own emotional state and gradually readjust and reposition my thoughts and behaviours so I remain in harmony with myself more and more. Through yoga, I have learned the virtues of patience, consistency, distress tolerance, and self-trust. I've faced numerous challenges and setbacks throughout my life, which have compelled me to deposit faith into the jar of self-trust in order to weather the storm. One meaningful item that symbolizes my journey is this Buddha statue, a cherished memento from my trip to Bali years ago. At the conclusion of each practice, I bow to this statue, imbuing it with the strength and unwavering faith I have cultivated for those uncertain days filled with doubt and instability. Each mantra etched into this statue, from #patience and #present to #receive and #relax #focus #grace, represents the countless daily sessions where I developed and repeated these affirmations. This year, I discovered the profound joy of recording my yoga sessions outdoors, in locations that truly deserve mindful moments to savor. Through reviewing these recordings, I have gained valuable insights into areas where I can enhance my practice, allowing me to approach each session with greater consciousness. Additionally, the sheer bliss of awakening early to bask in Beijing's tranquil atmosphere, along with that of other cities, has been truly remarkable. If you are interested, please visit my video channel on YouTube and Bilibili (search for #xiaojieyoga or #小杰瑜伽), where you'll find a collection of these videos available in both English and Chinese. I look forward to meeting you on the mat. Namaste.

Bipolar disorder, I refused to be identified with it, I accepted it, and then I moved away from the need to label myself. I am just me. I worked hard on getting to know this polarizing energy within myself in the past 10 years, and I befriended it. This is a reflection piece that I wrote back in 2017, which described how I felt about living with that energy. Reading it again, I see how my life has changed, and that sense of ‘half of a life’ diminished over the last few years. On this day of World Bipolar Disorder Day, I am sharing it with you. Xiaojie 30th March 2023 July 2017 Author: Xiaojie Proofread: Mara, Lucy The Moon Traveler | Half a Life The thing about bipolar is You have half of a life Many people with bipolar II spend longer time being depressed Than being creative, energetic, productive and happy When depression hits I was dead for months out of a year Before I was aware that it could be bipolar I was so confused “Why can’t I think of anything that I want to do?” I used to ask myself So one time when I was in remission I put together a list of things that I like doing or should do I thought maybe sometimes I just forget The depression hits Nothing on the list was appealing I was baffled Then there it came the long never ending days of despair Until the chemicals in my brain balances itself out It cycles I noticed it But I could do nothing about it Even when I was happy and contend I knew some day, I’d be on the other end It’s like being in the wavy ocean Your head is in and out of water I never had time to make sense of what’s happening When you can hold your head above the water All you can think of it to breath That’s what I was like I was trying to make most of my functioning days Running, doing, and rushing I know the color I can see will turn grey The music I hear will fade Some days would out of nowhere my limbs become so heavy that I wouldn’t be able to move them To me, I only have half of my life When I feel alive, I spin myself like a top Once you whip, you can’t stop! I’ve taken many walks at 6am because it’s quiet and beautiful I once watched a documentary about lepers twice in one night because it was fascinating I danced one weekend day for 14 hours, lost 3 toenails and had to go to physical therapy for my hips One Saturday, I studied online for 6 hours straight, just because. Hypomania That’s the technical word given for bipolar disorder II My body’s switch was finally turned on My soul woke up from hibernation, taking a big stretch So I was that volcano, pent up with lava that is pounding My mind decided to let it go “Make the most out of the time” there’s always that voice Missing out There were times in life I looked up and saw a plane in the sky I thought to myself that they are so lucky to have a destination I arrived in Paris Only found that my soul didn't get on the same bus with me I was in Rome Having the worst panic attacks of my life I saw the magnificent architecture But my emotions were too dried out to be in touch with the magnificence I was in Nepal I booked the flight back immediately after work Why stay for the weekend When where I am is of no difference Like most people I wish I didn't have to miss out on these wonderful things that are happening in life I also wish that I never have to miss out again despite that I know there will probably be times that I will Like for most people that wishful thinking creates a hamster wheel A lot of times I feel like a hungry homeless person That sees a plateful of food He wouldn’t sit down to smell and taste the food He’d just gulp everything down Just like him I was galloping life in one breath Until I finally started to do yoga and meditate That I realize there was other ways In a way, we all live in the waves of an ocean Some waves are bigger than others Mine certainly was like a tornado I am learning to ride the waves Not fighting it But riding it Learning to accept that others will experience things that I may never get to do helps me to bring the wave down. I know very well that I am experiencing things that some others would never do Don’t fear missing out Bring yourself back to the experience that you are already having Ignore the voice that tells you to do more The fear of missing out fades The joy of living the moment enhances

‘in the last eight year, I have encountered many challenges both as a facilitator and as the manager of our support group. I’ve documented our experiences, trained our facilitators, and brought all our learnings together in creating a manual. I hope by sharing this with the other people, we have more mental health activists that can get a better start and do great work. ’ -Xiaojie Qin Director of CandleX This year would mark our eight years of running our support group in Beijing. Seeing more need from emerging community members to do more on mental health, we are now providing training to prepare individuals to get on the path of mental health advocates and group leaders. This upcoming training provides practical guidance and knowledge based on accumulated experiences on challenges our facilitators encountered, ethical considerations, issues we have had running the support group. We will also share our internal training mannual that outline structure of CandleX’s signature program, mental health support group, and the step by step facilitating tasks of our facilitators. By doing this, we hope to make empower more people to get an easier start on creating their own mental health groups and projects. Who Should Attend: - People interested in pursuing mental health work - Mental Health Peer support facilitators - Community mental health advocates - Anyone interested in get on the path of becoming a mental health professional Learning Objectives: - Understand the principles of group facilitation and group dynamics - Learn effective communication skills - Develop conflict resolution skills - Develop strategies for creating a safe and inclusive space for group members - Learn about self-care and how to manage burnout - Get CandleX’s internal support group manual as a reference for you to start your own Certificate: You will get a certificate from us to indicate that you have completed this 3-hour training. More About the Training Content We created a question bank based on facilitator’s debrief, which we do after every session and document them. Over the years, we have engaged in discussions and mini-trainings amongst the members of our support group program team members as well as external experts to answer these questions. To make sure that this training is relevant to the training participants, we would like to have you pick out what questions you want to get answered so we could tailor the training more to the confirmed participants. Training Question Bank Facilitator’s Self Awareness and Management What is the skill that a facilitator needs to keep in mind when confronted with difficult situations in general? How to proceed with the session as a facilitator when feeling triggered by a topic that has been or is being discussed? What are the traps a facilitator could fall into when facilitating in a group? Facilitator’s self-care: there are responsibilities in being a facilitator, as well as benefits of feeling the meaning of life by giving, learning new skills. How do you balance your responsibilities to the group without compromising your own wellbeing? Conflict Resolution Skills: How to deal with conflicts amongst participants when happening in session? How to model disagreement respectfully? What should we do when we disagree with our peer facilitators? Group Dynamics Management Skills How to manage a participant who gives advices when not asked? What to do when a participant is in distress when sharing, intense emotional reaction during self-disclosure? How do respond to situations where a participant damages the progress of the session? How do we know when we need to take that person out of the room? What to do or not to do if there’s prolonged silence in session? Learn how to manage one or a few people who cannot stop talking or who interrupt others inappropriately? Improve the Operation Should the group sessions have a topic or it’s better to offer a topic free space? How do we get people to give feedback more? What negative feedback we’ve gotten so far? how do we improve? How to manage the expectations of participants towards the facilitator? Training Details Date: 9th April, Sunday 2023 Time: 2pm-5pm Location: Online via Voov Cost: 500rmb, no refund (Subsidies are available for individuals who are unable to pay but have demonstrated commitment and contribution to community mental health.) Registration: please contact Summer. Training Format: The training will be a combination of lecture, demonstration, group discussion, role-playing, and hands-on activities. Participants will have the opportunity to practice their facilitation skills and receive feedback from the trainer and other participants. About the Trainer Xiaojie Qin A psychotherapist, the director of CandleX, with 5 years of experiencing facilitating the Peer Support Group, and 8 years of experience managing the group up to now.

Are you looking to improve your bedtime routine or better manage your intense emotions? Then you'll want to hear from Xiaojie, a psychotherapist and director of CandleX. In this series of mini-sessions, she will share valuable insights and tools that she use in psychotherapy for emotional regulation. Now listen to what she says about this series. Mini-session series Details Time: 22:30-23:00 Beijing Time Sunday to Thursday, every day for 5 days Date: 26th-30th March 2023 Fee: 100rmb (this is a trial run) no refund Format: via Voov, guided session Registration: contact Summer. Transcript of Xiaojie’s video It's 10:30pm and instead of winding down, you find yourself unable to put down your phone. Perhaps you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed by work or experiencing a wave of sadness and loneliness after a breakup. My name is Xiaojie, and I'm a psychotherapist and director at CandleX. For those experiencing significant life events or chronic anxiety and depression, bedtime can be particularly challenging. Years ago, at a mindfulness retreat, a teacher said that the day doesn't start when you wake up, but when you go to bed. This is why I've created mini-sessions at 10:30pm to help prepare you for a good night's sleep and equip you with tools to navigate conflicts and stress you may face the next day. I work with clients who have a range of experiences, from bipolar disorder and abusive relationships to addiction recovery, depression, anxiety, and low mood. Regardless of their life situation and presenting issues, they all benefit from building up their resources bank where they can deposit tools to help regulate their mood. The more you exercise your mind with these tools, the stronger and more "rich" you become in your emotional resources for rainy days. I've selected tools that are particularly helpful for bedtime to help you establish a healthy bedtime routine and build up your emotional regulation abilities. From March 26th to 30th (Sunday to Thursday), for one week, every day at 10:30pm, you can join me online from your bed or sofa in your pajamas. Before bedtime, it's not ideal to socialize or overly activate your thinking brain, which is why these sessions will have minimal talking and interaction, and you are advised to turn your camera off. The tools are mindfulness-based, and I'll guide you step-by-step for 30 minutes. The next day, you're welcome to share your experiences using these tools in our WeChat group and get to know each other. Remember, in order for the world to love you, you need to learn to love yourself first. This one week, I hope to get you started on that process. Would you like to join me? Contact Summer for details of the fee and registration. You can find her WeChat (ID: Zingyzinger) in the description. About the Facilitator

September 2022, China Development Brief featured Project A for their work in providing affordable therapy to survivors of abusive relationships in Beijing. Accessing affordable mental health support in China can be a challenge to both locals and foreigners alike. For survivors of abusive relationships, it can be especially difficult to find suitable spaces for therapy and healing. As founders, Megan Purvis and Qin Xiaojie discuss the inspiration behind Project A, the unique ways in which they’ve operated via community funding, and their plans for the future of the program. Empathizing with the complexities of seeking help from domestic violence and intimate partner abuse, Xiaojie shares insight to the methods used in therapy sessions that help facilitate the healing process. Read the full article here: Providing affordable therapy in Beijing: Project A interview Read the interview in Chinese, please click here: A计划：中美女性联手帮助家暴受害者走出阴影

May 2023, CandleX founder Xiaojie, a registered psychotherapist, was featured by Jingkids for her service & impact as a mental health professional supporting the expat community in Beijing.In this interview she shares some poignant thoughts on the topics of home, motivation, and finding meaning in the madness.As a long time Beijinger, what makes this city so special? What does it mean to embrace the unfolding of life? For Xiaojie, it’s all about finding a sense of groundedness in community and staying true to her inner momentum. From mental health work, mindfulness practice, and yoga, to dancing, jujitsu, and diving, she touches on her favorite activities and the simple joy of living in flow.A creator of her own genre and a student of her own teaching, Xiaojie gives insight to the importance of self-care, goal setting, and the transformational power of being true to oneself. Read the full article here: CandleX Founder Xiaojie Has Done This Activity For 10+ Years...

As more attention is placed on the importance of mental health, we have seen a rising number of support groups being established across various communities. These community-based mental health support groups include peer support group (by Candle X), alcohol anonymous group, sex addiction group, men’s group, sexual trauma group, abusive relationship recovery group, and more. Besides these community-based services, there are companies that provide group coaching or therapy services for a specific group and a goal such as conflict resolution, stress, anxiety, and so on. Facilitators of mental health groups take on the role of holding space for participants. It’s never an easy role given the area of work that we do. Sometimes facilitators might feel frustrated, confused, incapable or conflicted, and are not emotionally supported through that process. Moreover, many facilitators who initiate groups on their own do not get enough technical support to grow as a facilitator. Since 2015, CandleX has provided training for group facilitators, while also providing one-on-one coaching and support to individuals who are in this role. As requests for this type of support increase, we would like to create a regular, ongoing space to support facilitators both emotionally and technically. Bi-monthly Facilitator’s Gathering Session Online is a place where facilitators come together and process their challenges and struggles, and check-in with one another’s wellbeing. The goals of these gathering sessions are: Meet other facilitators who work on their own, and feel a sense of connection Process challenges and struggles experienced as a facilitator Learn from each other on the techniques needed for successful group facilitations Check in with ourselves and others on our emotional wellbeing, including needs that could have been compromised by being on the role Hold ourselves accountable for taking care of ourselves It’s for you if you: are a facilitator of groups, especially on mental health are a therapist or a coach that works with groups Time, Date, Location: 5th July 2023 Every 1st Wed of May, Jul, Sep, Nov 2023: 7pm-8:30pm (May 3, Jul 5, Sep 6, Nov 1 2023) Online via Wechat group Fee: 150rmb (scholarships available for those with financial limitations) Details & Registration: Scan the QR code below to contact Summer are a facilitator of groups, especially on mental health are a therapist or a coach that works with groups Confidentiality: Given the industry that we work in, confidentiality is of vital importance. Trainers and attendees shall not disclose any personal information shared within these support sessions, publicly or privately, unless given direct consent. About the Trainer: Xiaojie Qin Psychotherapist, director of CandleX, manager of the Mental Health Peer support group since 2015. Facilitated countless group sessions as a therapist and a trainer for facilitators over the years.

Feelings of loneliness and disconnection are difficult for us to deal with. If you have recently gone through a breakup, lost a loved one, or experience chronic social anxiety etc., you could feel intense loneliness right before bedtime. If we do not pay attention to how we deal with it and its impact, we might fall into negative coping behaviors like alcohol, excessive phone usage, or hookups to avoid feeling lonely. It’s easy to know what’s the right thing to do, but hard to do it on your own. That’s exactly why we created the Bedtime Session, to tackle one issue at a time. After March’s session on emotional regulation, April’s theme is on sitting with loneliness, together as a group online. Features of the sessions: Each session is 30 mins, and they will be mindfulness-based. You are encouraged to turn your camera off, put on your pajamas, and go straight to bed after each session. In these sessions, there will not be any talking amongst participants so we could wind down. These sessions are created with the Session Goals to: Establish a healthy bed time routine Improve the quality of your sleep Understand loneliness and what it means for you Practicing being with loneliness Increase mental resilience in the long run Not feeling lonely is not a goal here, but it might end up being a result if you do it right Mini-session series details: Time: 22:30-23:00 Beijing Time Sunday to Thursday, every day for 4 days Date: 24th-28th April 2023 Fee: 100rmb, no refund Format: via Voov, guided session Registration: contact Summer About the Facilitator You can also learn about psychotherapy by scanning the QR code in Xiaojie’s profile: